Monday, January 12, 2009

[Humor] New Stock Market Definitions - Have a laugh while still you can!

New Stock Market Terms

  • CEO —Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  • CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
  • BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  • BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.
  • VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
  • P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  • BROKER — What my broker has made me.
  • STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
  • STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  • STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  • FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  • MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
  • CASH FLOW— The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  • YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  • WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  • INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
  • PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use

[Received in an email forward]

3 comments:

sharetipsinfo said...

Hi,

Indian stock market is one of the most volatile market. Its two main stock exchanges are NSEand BSE. Both exchanges generally follow same trend.

NSE and BSE offers platform for investment in Indian stock market. In India there are many traders who prefer NSE over BSE as they consider BSE
as more volatile exchange but truth is that all exchanges be it NSE, BSE or LSE are volatile and should not be considered as a place for speculation.
One should strictly follow technical analyses if they want to earn regularly from any stock market.

Please remember analyses of stock market be it technical or fundamental do help!!

Regards
SHARETIPSINFO TEAM

INDIAN STOCK MARKET TIPS said...

Very humorous and interesting post. It takes the tension out of trading reading it. Thanks a lot

Team NiftyFutureKing

supernse said...

very informative post...thanks a lot

A

Popular Posts (Last 30 days)

This is a personal blog and I do not speak for my employer.