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[Humor] New Stock Market Definitions - Have a laugh while still you can!

New Stock Market Terms

  • CEO —Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  • CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
  • BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  • BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.
  • VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
  • P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  • BROKER — What my broker has made me.
  • STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
  • STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  • STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  • FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  • MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
  • CASH FLOW— The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  • YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  • WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  • INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
  • PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use

[Received in an email forward]
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Comments

INDIAN STOCK MARKET TIPS said…
Very humorous and interesting post. It takes the tension out of trading reading it. Thanks a lot

Team NiftyFutureKing
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 1:16:00 PM GMT+5:30
Supernsetips said…
very informative post...thanks a lot
Friday, April 16, 2010 at 10:36:00 PM GMT+5:30
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