Saturday, November 26, 2005

[Humor] Excerpts from HER & HIS Diaries

HER DIARY


I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him, but he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I fell asleep.
I do not know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.
















HIS DIARY


























Today India lost the cricket match again. DAMM IT.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Google Analytics

Added Google Analytics (formerly known as urchin), the new Web Analysis Software Tool acquired by Google, and unlike Urchin, it is free to be used. Results are pretty cool and quite graphical in nature.

Friday, November 11, 2005

[Humor] Call Centre Jobs

Call Centre Jobs: People often wonder why they are paid so much...for just being on the phone. Take a look...

  1. Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
    Customer "Ok."
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No."
    Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer "No."
    Tech Support:: "Ok, si r. Can you tell me what you have done up until
    this point?"
    Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
  2. Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
    Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
    Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
  3. Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
    Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
    Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."!
    Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
    Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
    Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
    Customer:: "What?"
    Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
    Customer: "No..."
  4. Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
    Tech Support:: ?!%#$
  5. Tech Support:: "Ok, in the b ottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
  6. Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
    Customer:: "A white one."
  7. Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
    Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
  8. Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
    Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
  9. Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
    Customer: "Pentium."
  10. Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
  11. Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
  12. Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
  13. Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
    Tech Support: "What does it say?"
    Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
    Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
    Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
  14. Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
    Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
  15. Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
    Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
    Tech Support:: "Well?"
    Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
  16. A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
    Tech: What's the problem?
    User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
    Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
    User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
    Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to re place it.
    User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

    10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
    Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
    User: I knew it!
    Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

    10 minutes later.
    User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
    Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
    User: MS-DOS 6.22.
    Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you ! the file. Let me know how it goes.

    1 hour later.
    User: I need a new power supply.
    Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
    User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
    Tech: Then what did he say?
    User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE

Which one is the best u like :)

A

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